Saturday, August 11, 2007

Defending the Faith part 1

Wow, when I said that God guided my stupidity, I wasn't kidding.

Since my "re-conversion" I have had a love for apologetics. For about a year I haunted Catholic Answers looking to learn more about the faith. Then I drifted over to CARM to try my hand at defending the faith. I did not stay at CARM long; I couldn't handle the range of attacks from rational arguments to mud throwing and decided my charity was taking a hit.

Yet even still, I have a strong desire to defend the faith. I want to go out and tell the world that Catholicism is true, especially those who've been told so many lies about it. However, it seems the Lord kept putting in my path those who have never even considered God an option. You can't really get into a good debate with someone who doesn't care. All you can do is be a witness through your life.

Well, now I'm staying with two women "Diane" and "Opal", who are both Christian. The first time I saw the place Diane asked me if I "had Jesus in my heart." I told her that I tried, but didn't always succeed. She used to be Orthodox and had converted to Baptist. I was really excited about the possibility of talking with her about religion. Finally a person who I could debate with.

Then a couple days later I was talking with Opal and she told me how Diane had been through some hard times and was really clinging to her church. She was just telling me facts, but it's almost like I heard the Lord speaking. This was his daughter and she was at a tenuous point in her life. When I was challenged with the faith, I nearly lost all faith. I was blessed to have a wonderful support system in place outside of the Church that encouraged me to seek the Truth. What does Diane have? All she has is her church community, to challenge her faith would strand her.

So again, I'm called to be a witness through actions alone. If the topic comes up, I'll defend the faith, but I must take care not to go overboard. "Wow to him who causes one of these little ones to stumble."

So I die to my own desire to teach Catholicism to the masses, swallowing my pride and vanity at knowing the answers finally, and instead pray for her on her journey in faith. By the end of week one I'd resigned myself to being but a silent witness yet again...but the Lord had other plans!