Thursday, July 12, 2007


I have this coworker, I'll call him 'Bob'. Bob comes from a family of very smart people, yet this intelligence gene skipped him, as he's told me. Now, my observations of Bob tell me that he is not stupid. He just tends to not think about something before asking, again and again. Up until this week it's been OK, I did learn the material faster and I answered his questions patiently. Lately, however, I've been getting really short with him. Today I was really bad...

Bob: I found this error in the file.
Me: Yes you are looking for errors in the file.
Bob: What do I do with it?
Me: The same thing you've done with all the others.
Bob: But it's in my file.
Me: AND?!? This is the same question you've asked a dozen times!
Bob: whispers apologies and creeps off to his desk with a confused look.

Fast forward to tonight, I go to see my spiritual director and I mention how I'm nervous about finding a new apartment. Will I find a place to live in time? What if I don't realize it's the right place? He tells me to repeat over and over "Jesus, I trust in you." As I'm saying it a dialogue comes to mind...

Me: Jesus I trust in you, but I'm afraid I won't find a new apartment in time.
Jesus: Didn't I provide the place you are currently living in?
Me: Yes, Jesus I trust in you, but what if I'm too picky?
Jesus: You were picky last time, yet I provided you with a place.
Me: Yes, Jesus I trust in you, but what if I don't realize it's the right place?
Jesus: You understood my will with moving down here and with the job you're at now.
Me: Yes, Jesus I trust in you, but what if...
Jesus: How many times will you question me before you trust me?
Me: Probably several dozen or so.
Jesus: You mean a couple dozen or so times more than Bob's asked you about that error?
Me: Oh...

Yes, I've been testing the Lord again and again. Practically every day I question whether or not the Lord will provide for me when he has so many times before. Now I sit here complaining about a coworker who is asking questions. I'm allowed to repeatedly question, but he is not?

If the Lord can show so much patience with me, should I not also be patient with those around me? Lord, please give me the grace to be patient with others as you've been patient with me.


Adoro te Devote said...

Hey! You're living my spiritual life, but you're doing it WAY better than me!

Christina said...

By spiritual life, do you mean God bopping you over the head with your silliness? I suppose I am doing a good job at that!

Rae said...

Thanks... This is such a great perspective on patience--and one that made me smile and even chuckle a bit, too!! I'll have to remember it at some of "those" times (which are far too numerous!).