Monday, February 27, 2006

SMME Retreat

So, I went to the retreat at SMME and it was an amazing weekend. Within the first 12 hours I gained a most valuable lesson, a lesson in humility. This lesson opened my heart to see another important lesson. I will speak of the first today, and another day write of the other, for I've yet to figure out how to word it.

Living and working where I do, it seems most of the people I have contact with on a daily basis are very non-religious (though often not flat out atheist). Seeing their lives I've developed the mistaken belief that I'm somehow very pious and religious. I knew that this was wrong, but I still felt it.

Upon arriving at the retreat I immediately met young women who were by far more advanced in their spiritual lives. Women who considered daily mass something they wouldn't think of skipping due to a messy schedule. Who considered saying the rosary as a life line and said it daily, not just when it was "convenient". Who went to adoration and confession more than just once a month. Seeing their devotions I felt very inadequate and realized just how far behind I am in my spiritual life.

Over the weekend I thought about this and considered why it was wrong to always compare myself to others. I realize now that when you are able to see your sins clearly and know what you are supposed to be doing, it's all the more important to do it. Those in darkness (like my agnostic friends) think they are ok. Although they might know deep down what they should be doing it's a vague knowledge. Saints, on the other hand, know exactly what they are to be doing (or fail to do) and, because they know, are required to live accordingly. Since each persons knowledge is different, they will be judged accordingly.

Since I'll never know another's heart, I can never say I'm doing "better than" or "worse than" him. I can only look at my life and consider where I stand and what I know I should be doing and after this weekend I know there are many changes that need to be made.

1 comment:

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