Monday, February 06, 2006

Guided by the Spirit

The Holy Spirit will work in the least expected ways, sometimes all you'll have to do is take those first steps...

First a little background, it's next to impossible for me to go up and introduce myself to someone new, even going up to people I know can be a challenge at times. Once I get to know really really well, I'm usually fine, but before then I get very nervous and almost always back down.

Last year I was going through some rough times and was very depressed. One week after Sunday Mass I felt a strong urge to talk with someone and was going to try pulling a priest aside; however, as mentioned above, I couldn't quite pull this off and ended up walking out of the Church. As I was walking home the little nagging voice only got worse; I felt that I must turn around and talk with someone. About a half mile out I basically threw up my hands and said "Fine, I'll head back, but I bet no one is there anymore!"

I turned around and headed back to the church and, as predicted, the priests had already left; however, this was the same week that the novitiate friars were visiting the parish. They were gathered in the foyer preparing to take a walking tour of the town and I stood off to the side debating going up and talking to them. I had no clue what I would say, but I still had this powerful voice inside me telling me to talk. Alas, although this voice got me back to the church, it couldn't get me to speak up, I'd gone completely tharn. After what seemed like an eternity one of the brothers walked over and asked if I was ok. I mentioned needing to talk to someone and he immediately changed his plans and pulled me aside. We talked for about three hours and it was during this talk that he mentioned the religious life. At that time I felt it would be running away and promptly dismissed it.

At the time I realized that it was a blessing, but I had no idea of how great. Over the last year we've kept in contact on and off and he's been the most wonderful help. Often he would send an email right when I needed it the most, sometimes with nothing more than his thoughts about life. For example, right before Christmas, when I'd been seriously discerning for a while, but not told him, he sent a letter with this thoughts on his discernment process. Something in it just clicked at the time and helped me to move forward and contact a priest.

So I suppose the moral is that the Holy Spirit will work wonders, you only have to take the first, sometimes painful, steps. I felt that going back to the church that day was like walking into a firing range and once I got there talking was out of the question. But all I had to do was get there, once there the Spirit worked in the heart of this brother and has been continuing to work through him ever since!

1 comment:

Marcellus Tanjaya said...

What a good experience...hehehe. Keep growing in His love through the working of the holy spirit in your life. Maybe I introduce myself first. My name is Marcel from Singapore. I am Indonesian. actually I just joined catholic answer forums and I just wanted to read something related to Catholicism. And I found out your blog. Also, this is my first time trying to take a look other people's blog. It is because now I am a bit boring with my attachment and projects.hehehe...Also I just started my new blog.
It is fun to see your blog with your experience of God in your life. Keep continue to follow His will and serve God.

God bless,